The Old Maid Diaries :: Dating in your 40s

Old MaidWell, dating at 49 to be exact. I feel like an old maid. Did you guys play that card game as a kid?  You know, the one where the object of the game is to not be left with the “Old Maid” card? I think I was about 5 when I first learned what an Old Maid was: an ugly old lady with gray hair and glasses THAT NO ONE WANTS TO MARRY! AARGGGHHH!  At the start of 2013 I decided to take action to “fix” the things in my life that were less than satisfying. I spend all day helping my clients to live more fulfilling lives yet my own life is in the crapper. Not really, but it feels like that some days. One thing that I often wish for is a boyfriend. Someone to share my life with, do fun things, give me a hug after a bad day (or good one), try new restaurants, watch Homeland. Get my drift? The biggest thing standing in my way has been me and I know that! I have been a single mom for the past 13 years. Yep, that’s a long time. I have dated several good guys and some not great ones, but not “the one.” Over the next several weeks, maybe months, I’m going to record this concentrated effort and try to figure out what it all means. Are my fears real? Is there someone out there for me? Are there any good guys left? What has your midlife dating experience been like? I’d love to hear from you.

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2 Responses to The Old Maid Diaries :: Dating in your 40s

  1. Judy De Silva says:

    Hi,
    After my divorce at 46, I just started on the dating track. I must say that I do have fun being with these men, but feel very disconnected to them when we are apart, an emotional disconnection that is. I’m not sure if its me or them. Just wondering if others feel like that too.
    Thanks,
    Judy

    • pdm4 says:

      Judy,
      I feel like it’s hard to feel connected when there is no history with the person- the kind of history you have with your ex. At least that’s been my experience. I feel like if I could push through the detachment I might find more of a connection, but it’s hard-especially when my free time is so precious. I’m not in the same place I was in my twenties: not as patient, more selective. Yet I want to have a relationship. It’s definitely a challenge.
      Thanks for commenting! Paula

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